Listen up fathers out there: if you have the privilege of raising daughters (or a daughter) then you are one lucky fella. Here’s why Daddies should date their daughters.
My wife Tina and I have a son and two daughters. We are a very blessed couple. We’ve done a lot of things wrong as parents, but one thing we got right was dating our kids–regularly taking them out on “dates”.
[Click Here to get my “The Perfect Daddy – Daughter Date Checklist”.]
The things we’ve learned from dating our kids (about ourselves and them) has been amazing. And we have found no better way to unlock their hearts and pour into them a sense of beauty and value than these cherished times together.
Get Started Dating Your Daughters Early
I consistently dated my girls while they were growing up. From the time they were 2 or 3 years old they would dress up, pick their favorite place to eat dinner (usually crummy fast food when they were young) and I would take them out, separately, on dates. I would open doors for them, displaying my best chivalry and manners. They would ask me lots of questions and we would laugh and have so much fun together. I would tell them how beautiful they were and how awesome it was to have this time for just the two of us.
“You are special honey, I love you and God loves you!”[clickToTweet tweet=”Daddy–daughter dates is one of the most cherished things you will ever do as a parent.” quote=”Daddy–daughter dates is one of the most cherished things you will ever do as a parent.”]
I’ll never forget how our daughter Christin, at the age of four, helped her younger sister Justine, who was two at the time, prepare for her first date night with me. She helped her pick out a dress and shoes, loaned her a favorite plastic pearl necklace and told her which restaurant she should have me take her to. Justine beamed with a smile as wide as the sky when she emerged from her room ready for our first date. Awesome!
I have tears in my eyes right now as I recall that day.
My wife did the same thing with our son throughout the years, teaching him how to be a gentleman, how to eat with proper manners and how to treat a girl appropriately as she “dated” him.
Let me share 5 things with you that are important about dating your daughter:
➤ Concentrated “daddy time” shows her she is a priority in your life. Often, as fathers, we communicate to our kids that we leave the house each day to go and take care of the “really important” things. Work, ministry, and other responsibilities are our top priority and everything and everyone at home comes after. It may not be our intent, but our time management and allotment can broadcast this loud and clear. The hours hours given to these special times together show your daughter how important and valuable she is to you. You model God’s heart toward her when you do this.
➤ Let your daughter set the agenda for the date. As parents, we usually determine most of what our kids eat, where they’re allowed to go, what they wear (at least when they’re younger) etc. Let your daughter pick the place for a meal or what movie to go see. What you’ll do afterwards. How formal or casual the date will be. Even let her pick out what you will wear on the date. She will love it! Praise her for her choices on everything, letting her know she has great taste! This will build her confidence and ability to make decisions.
➤ Ask lots of questions and really listen to her answers. These date times are primed for truly getting to know your daughter in a deeper way. Ask her about her week; what was the best thing, what was the worst and why? Ask “wondering” questions to spark her imagination (and yours). “Have you ever wondered about…?” Or ask questions about her favorite…whatever… or the future. “If you get married some day, what would your perfect husband be like?” “If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why?” Never challenge her, but ask good, open-ended follow up questions as well.
Listen to her heart in these answers. She’s dying to reveal it to you. When someone you know and trust shows you unconditional love, you open up. This is one of the biggest benefits and why Daddies should date their daughters.
➤ Treat her like a princess the entire time. Tell her (over and over) how beautiful she is. Take pictures and post them online bragging on her a little. Open doors for her. Be a little “over the top” in how you treat her on your dates. It doesn’t have to be expensive to be special and memorable–be creative. Start or build on traditions as you go on more dates together over time. Spoil her a little… It’s okay, really.
➤ You get to be the “first” at a lot of things with your daughter. I was my daughter’s first date. (And I like to think her first true love!) I took her to her first musical. We had many of her favorite foods and experiences for the first time together on dates. But most importantly of all, you get to set the bar for how she will expect to be treated by boys and other men for the rest of her life. Set the bar high![clickToTweet tweet=”Dads–You get to set the bar for how your daughter will expect to be treated by men. Set the bar HIGH!” quote=”Dads: You get to set the bar for how your daughter will expect to be treated by men. Set the bar HIGH!”]
BTW: Here’s 5 Steps to an Awesome Date Night with your Spouse.
I cannot tell you how many times my daughters would later come home from dates with young men and tell Tina and I how disappointed they were at the guys manners, or how picky he was about everything they ate. Or, just the opposite. They would light up telling us when a date of theirs actually hit the mark and made them feel respected and cherished. They looked for the qualities in men that they had been shown and modeled on our dates together. Sweet.
Tina and I still take our grown children on dates occasionally. It’s less often now that two of them are married, but we still look forward to these more concentrated times to connect, catch up, reminisce and dream about the future together.
How about you? If you already doing this, that’s awesome! If not, the next best time to take your daughter out on a date is now. You’ll love it and she’ll never forget it.
Tell me about your best daddy–daughter dates! And would you share this post or video with someone you care about right now?
