Today, I answer the question: “How do I get started teaching my own family to live out our faith in normal, everyday life with others? What are the very first baby-steps I should take?”
This is an important question Frank, because regardless of where we’re at in our faith journey or family age and stage of life, truly making disciples and living out our faith in everyday life with others starts right in our own home.
Discipleship Starts in the Mirror
I teach and train people all over the world to live and make disciples in exactly the ways you are asking. In other words, they want to live out their faith authentically in everyday life. And regardless of the context; city, suburban, rural, European or elsewhere, I have found that the starting points are exactly the same. Discipleship and everyday missional living starts in the mirror and it starts in the home.
Before we can effectively lead others to know and follow Jesus in real, tangible ways in everyday life, this must become a reality in our own lives and homes.
Here are the 7 most basic, yet crucial steps we all need to take and then begin to master:
1. Learn to articulate a much bigger gospel–one that touches every area of your life today, and is truly good news.
So often our understanding and articulation of the gospel – the good news about Jesus’ life, death and resurrection – seems to have more to do with our afterlife than this life. Is this how we communicate the Good News to our spouse, kids and neighbors too?
People need to understand how Jesus, and being a follower of his, will affect their marriages, parenting, finances, identity, their spending habits etc.
Can you tell them?[clickToTweet tweet=”People need to understand how following Jesus will affect their marriages, parenting, finances… Can you tell them?” quote=”People need to understand how following Jesus will affect their marriages, parenting, finances etc. Can you tell them?”]
2. Start making your own family dinners more meaningful and an attractive door into community for others.
This may seem super simple, but your family meal times are the best opportunity you have for discipling your kids, each other, and eventually, those God has called you to make disciples among.
Any meal of the day can be special, and maybe for you it’s not always going to be dinnertime that everyone can get together, but I want to encourage you to pick one to three meals/nights per week that you put on your calendar and EVERYONE knows that those are “sacred” times. Not to be missed. Predictable patterns are key!
Family dinner times can intentionally bring fun, learning and the Kingdom of God to bear in a tangible way. It also serves as a training ground and a model for how you and your family will live in community with others.
3. Find natural places in your city or neighborhood that are a perfect fit for you to make new friends and build relationships.
Frequenting a café, favorite restaurant, pub or park gives you new opportunities to meet people that live near you, have similar interests and may be open to relationships.
Where do people go to have a good time, and make or be with friends, in your neighborhood? As you go there and ask good questions, listen and live generously, people will be attracted to you and interested in your life and family.
Ask God to guide you and give you divine insight in all of this as you “pick your place”.
4. Identify which new friends and acquaintances are “leaning in” to relationship and a possible faith journey with you.There are people that God has divinely appointed for you, your family and friends to disciple and do life with.
These “people of peace” seem easy to make friends with. Look for those who are open to you, interested in you, like you and want to be around you. Often these special people look to serve you very early in the relationship.
You are not looking to gather a crowd.
5. Learn to trust the Holy Spirit to guide your next steps with people, and together as a family.
“What do I do now that there are new folks hanging around?!”
As you start building relationships with others you may feel the stress of not knowing how to perfectly love and disciple them. And often we find it hard to start on a new endeavor like this because we want to know all of the steps before ever getting started.
Lose the anxiety over moving these relationships toward spiritual discussions and life in community. Ask God to show you the very next steps you need to take, and then do that! (This “What Next, Lord?” story and journal may help you get started.)
6. Create predictable patterns and environments for relational growth that are inviting and eventually help people want to join you and your family.
Christian faith in community is life together in the family of God. God is our Father and expects us to treat others as family too.What would it be like if you were to invite just one or two not-yet believers to share a meal with you each week…or this week? You’re eating anyway, so not much extra time is required.
Things won’t happen like throwing on a light switch, but again, predictable patterns are key here. Get out your calendar and commit to a new rhythm today.
7. Learn to teach the Word of God in a powerful, yet simple way that is reproducible and fun for everyone.
True discipleship is built on the words, ways and works of Jesus. Learning to teach the Bible and impart Kingdom patterns and understanding in a reproducible way is foundational if your goal is to make and be mature disciples.
With your family and with others, learn to teach the Story of God (as a story) in a narrative and dialogical manner that levels the playing field for “experts” and newbies alike.
I know of no other method of teaching the Bible and helping folks grow in their understanding of who God is, and who he made us to be, than this method.
For more information and free resources on how to do this with your family and friends, check this out.
Those Are The Basics…Now Get Started!
These seven, proven steps may seem simple, or even a little obvious, but they work and are just the beginning. The next best time to begin, trust God, and continue to be trained and resourced is now. There is no limit to how far this will take you if you apply these 7 moves to your life.
