Ask Caesar #1
I get a lot of questions from many of my readers and those I train and coach, so today I thought I would answer a couple of those questions in a segment that I will call, “Ask Caesar”. Pretty original, right? 🙂 I hope you like this and find it helpful.
Let’s give this a spin…I’ve got a couple of great questions here that are actually somewhat related. And they are both really important! (more…)
Missional Community: Have You Really Tried It?
Many churches think they’ve tried starting “missional communities” before, but they failed. Or they’ve given ‘micro-church’ a try, and that didn’t take off either. But actually… maybe they just exported religious activities!
This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we look at the difference between talking a good missional game and really living in a community that is radically focused on discipleship as a lifestyle.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- One of the most common reasons that missional communities fail.
- Why our best intentions at living on mission often turn into new “law”.
- The difference between religion and the gospel of grace.
- How to get the help to make authentic missional living a reality.
Family Dinner Night
My wife Tina and I, have for years, been living out our spirituality–our faith–with others in community. I’m not talking about the “church we go to” but rather intentional community with others that’s focused on living like Jesus would live if he were walking around our neighborhood today.
A big part of living like a family with others is eating together, and OFTEN!
As if it is carved into sacred stone, our extended family–we call it our missional community–gets together for a weekly family dinner night.
These collaborative meals are usually simple, sometimes elaborate, often thrown together, but always warm and full of acceptance. It is a needed bright spot in our week and a time when anyone and everyone are invited in everyone is always invited. At times we will take communion together and go around speaking Good News to each other, pushing back the hurts and disappointments of the week and reminding one another of what is now true of us because of Jesus. Afterward, everyone helps clean up, making sure there is no leftover mess.
As a family, we practice an “open door policy” with one another. I know that I can stop by the home or apartment of those in my community at any time and it will be no big deal. It works in reverse too; my friends know that they can stop by our house any time (I’ve noticed that the single guys seem to practice this more around dinnertime).
This may freak you out a little. You may be thinking, “Whoa, how do you have any time to yourself.
What about boundaries?
There have been times when my wife, Tina, and I are sitting on the couch in the evening having a glass of wine together and the doorbell will ring. “Hey, Caesar. Hi, Tina. What are you guys doing tonight?” And I will say, “Hey, Nick, how you doing brother? Tina and I were just sitting here watching this romantic comedy together and I, um, was kind of hoping for a happy ending…if you know what I mean. So unless there is some emergency or you really need us right now, let’s get together tomorrow if that’s cool.”
Because of the openness and trust we have with one another, there is not only the freedom to open our homes, but we also have the freedom to say “Thanks for stopping by, but now’s not a great time.” We all know this and respect this reality.
But sometimes it’s hard!
Living like this could really spin-off in a bad direction if we don’t live with a focus on the Good News and live with intentionality. If my life is all about my comfort and feeding my preferences, then all of that stuff would be frightening and impossible to sustain. But in light of the love we have been shown, it is a pleasure and a blast to live in ways that show what our real, true heavenly Dad is really like.
Sure it would have been great if someone would have shared these ideas with you or led you into this way of thinking and living years ago, but as always, the next best time to begin…is now!
Question: What’s keeping you from hosting a weekly family dinner for your friends and community? If you’re doing it already, what are you experiencing?
Why Our Advice Rarely Helps
Christians can often get into a mindset where we think everything that is wrong or untrue needs to be addressed NOW! And so with the banner of “speaking the truth in love” flying high over our heads, we dive in with our unsolicited advice.
In this episode of the Everyday Disciple Podcast, Caesar explains why most people really don’t want to hear our advice. We’ll look at what motivates a lot of our advice-giving, and learn some best practices for when we do need to offer help and insights to others.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- The 4 types of advice that we give to people.
- Why we feel the need to quickly offer our advice to others.
- How the gospel speaks into our motivations when giving advice.
- Best practices so people will want to hear your advice.
Your Story…God’s Story
Our favorite singers, songwriters, comedians, preachers, or public speakers all have one thing in common: they know how to tell a good story. And when they finish telling a story I feel connected to it–and them–in some profound way. I can relate in laughter or tears, in agreement or disagreement, but I connect powerfully with the stories they tell.
That’s how it works in the rest of our lives too.
We get to know each other and build friendships by sharing our stories. We are bound together by common themes and the things we have jointly experienced. In fact that is how relationship and community happens…our common stories connect us, and bind us together.
Deep down inside, even if we can’t explain it, we all yearn to be connected to a BIGGER story, to have our lives make a difference and be connected to something more. That is because our lives are all actually part of a much, much larger story. And there is ONE dominant Story that all of our stories will ultimately find their place in and finally be complete because of…that’s God’s Story.
His Story comes before, finishes, corrects, and ultimately makes sense of all other stories.[clickToTweet tweet=”Every part of our own story, and everyone else’s, is actually a reflection of the Story of God.” quote=”Every part of our own story, and everyone else’s, is actually a reflection of the Story of God.”]
Every part of our own story, and everyone else’s, is actually a reflection of the Story of God. That is how God has designed things. Our life story, and all of the little pieces that make it up, actually follow the same pattern found in God’s story throughout the Bible, here’s what that looks like:
CREATION➜FALL➜REDEMPTION➜RESTORATION
That’s a pretty quick 4–scene version of the story found in the Bible.
In order to effectively share who God is, what he’s up to in this world and how he’s changing our life, we must learn how to tell our stories through the lens of this larger Story.
Let me quickly share, in each of these scenes, one question that you’ll need to try and answer as you tell your story:
CREATION: The Key Question here is: Who or What most shaped who you thought you were, and where you got your real value and “identity” in life from?
FALL: The Key Question here is: Why was your relationship with God and others, (and anything else in your life), NOT the way it was supposed to be–like God created it to be? How where you rebelling against God and his ways?
REDEMPTION: The Key Question here is: How has Jesus taken the penalty for your rebellion on himself and how you came to put your faith and trust in Him to redeem and restore your life to the way God intended it to be?
RESTORATION: The Key Question here is: What has changed and what is changing in your life now? AND… Who and what is the focus of your life today?
That should help get you started in the right direction…
One more thing: Unfortunately, often when we Christians tell our stories (usually called “sharing our testimony”) we give very little evidence to the fact that we needed to be rescued and restored by God for his glory and Kingdom purposes. And if we do mention God or Jesus in our story, we’ll probably tell of some experience we had at a church service or youth camp…saying a special prayer… Then we talk about how much better our life is going today. And to tell the truth, we don’t usually make ourselves look that bad, and we don’t make God look all that good. We are the primary focus, the hero in our story, but we’re sorta thankful for God’s help along the way.[clickToTweet tweet=”We must learn to tell our story in a way that God is the hero.” quote=”We must learn to tell our story in a way that God is the hero.”]
However, we can learn to tell our stories in a way that shows God is the hero of the story! and will be both salt and light to others; salty like potato chips–after getting started they’ll want to hear more; and light that illuminates a path toward new life with Jesus. So if you’ve been shy in telling your faith story to others or making yourself out to be better than you really are…the next best time to make your story part of THE story is now.
Here’s a link to a free resource: My Gospel Story that will completely expand on all of this and walk you through creating your own story. I hope that helps. I would love to here your story when you finish it!
[Comments from my old website/blog were not carried over to this new one. Please leave your thoughts below.]
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ABOUT ME
I am the author of the top selling book, The Gospel Primer. My latest books, Transformed and Small is Big, Slow is Fast came out recently on Zondervan.
I help those with a high commitment to intentional living in the areas of their discipleship, family and mission acquire the leadership skills and tools necessary to succeed and leave a lasting legacy.