Opinions are changing about what it means to share our faith, or proclaim the gospel. And the debate continues regarding the best methodology, and probably will into the foreseeable future.
But regardless of your methods and motives, one universal reason that many (most) people don’t seem to share their faith very often or in meaningful ways is fear of rejection.
Fear of rejection sounds like this:
- I feel awkward and uncomfortable talking about my faith with others.
- I tried in the past and it never ended well.
- I can remember friends trying to “jam their religion down my throat” before I became a Christian and I vowed never to be that way.
- I’m worried that I might ruin my friendships if I bring up Jesus or spiritual things.
- I fear rejection so much that I cannot risk it.
If you’re like me at all you can relate to at least a few of these. And maybe you have other reasons of your own. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Let me give you 3 reasons why you may feel these things and 3 insights that have helped me move past the fear of rejection.
3 Reasons Why We Fear Rejection
1. Love of self. The biggest reason we fear rejection is that we really love ourselves and we love to be liked. This may be hard to hear, but the main thing that is responsible for closing our mouths when it comes to the gospel is a love of self. We love ourselves more than we love others, Jesus and his glory.[clickToTweet tweet=”Hard truth: We often love ourselves more than we love others, Jesus and his glory.” quote=”We often don’t share our faith because we love ourselves more than we love others, Jesus and his glory.”]
2. We don’t know what to say. Many of us have spent years listening to sermons, studying theology and reading the Bible, but still feel intimidated or unable to naturally express the good news of the gospel into normal life, conversations, and circumstances. I call this “gospel fluency”. We are not fluent enough in the language of the gospel to speak about the good news in all of life. And often we think our focus is to be on a gospel primarily about someone’s after-life. And we sense our friends have bigger perceived problems today, in this life.
3. We think we have to “close the sale.” I can remember being taught how to take any conversation and transition it into a sales pitch for Jesus and maneuver the listener towards saying the “Jesus in my heart prayer” right there on the spot. I hated feeling like a salesman and almost always avoided this. I am pretty sure my friends hated it more.
3 Insights That Can Change All of This
1. You are perfectly loved by God. Because we have the love of a perfect Father in heaven, we can move away from our deep rooted fear of what others think of us. God loves us just the same if we ever share our faith or not. Because we don’t have to perform to gain his love and acceptance, we are freed from feeling like we have to perform for others as well. Let God’s perfect love replace your own imperfect love of self.
2. Grow in gospel fluency. The thing that has made the biggest difference when it comes to naturally sharing my faith with others is growing in gospel fluency. Check out my community/group study guide The Gospel Primer for a super effective way to learn a bigger gospel and how it is truly good news for all of life. Instead of having to wait for your “in” or roll out a canned presentation, you can learn how to relationally speak about Jesus, your faith and the gospel wherever you are.
3. Take a longer view of evangelism. My good friend Hugh Halter says that when he becomes friends with a not-yet believer he plans on it taking around 5 years for them to see and hear enough about Jesus and his Kingdom to come to faith in Him. All of life–every conversation, times together, happy and sad moments are all filled with opportunity to both display and proclaim the gospel. Jesus said we are to be a “friend of sinners” (like he was). But he did not say to be their friend so that you can close the deal and get them saved. Faith and salvation are gifts from God. That’s his business and timing. If you love well, focus on other’s needs, and grow in your gospel fluency, over time you’ll look back and realize that you have shared your faith with friends so many times over that your life (including your words) have been one big testimony.
The pressure is off! We don’t have to fear rejection from others as we live our lives filled with God’s grace and look to show others what He is truly like.
Tell me the things that have helped move you away from a fear of rejection in this area of life. Leave me your comments below I really want to hear and learn from them.
