Everyone I know seems busier than ever. Work, car pools, school and life in general all seem to be at odds with living a lifestyle of discipleship and mission. In a very real way these things are all competing for the same hours and minutes each day.
One of my readers, Dale, wrote asking, “I’m trying to learn how to integrate my missional life with my family life – balancing family time with discipling in community; how do I do that without killing my family or never really living on mission in community with others?” That’s a great question and one I get asked a lot.
Spiritual Schizophrenia
You have one life to live Dale. Just one life to live. It’s a fallacy that we can live two different lives; our “spiritual” Christian/missional life and then our “real” life at work and with our families etc. That’s crazy. I call that spiritual schizophrenia. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Each of us has the same twenty-four hours each day, seven days each week. It’s just enough time to jam all of life into and then start again next week. What I have learned is that it is not life lived as God’s family of missionary servants, empowered by the Holy Spirit for his mission that burns people out or causes them to want to throw in the towel of faith. It is when we believe the lie that says we can continue building our own version of the American Dream life (or European dream life or wherever), pursuing a bigger house, nicer cars, better vacations, the best of everything…and try and fit in a little “church” or “ministry” that life gets out of whack and messed up. [clickToTweet tweet=”A missional life is not living the ‘American Dream’ with a little ministry or church wedged in.” quote=”A missional life is not living the ‘American Dream’ with a little ministry or church wedged in.”]
One Life To Live
In reality, we have been given just one life to live. We cannot actually live two different existences. In fact, any life we try and build around me at the center is no life at all. That is why Jesus said, “If you try to cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find true life.” Living our lives, as the family of God on his mission, is the life we were created to live. That is truly life.
Here are 3 simple tips to get you thinking differently about integrating family life and mission.
- Tithe your meal times. You are probably already eating (like most people) 21 meals each week. Try and have a not-yet believing friend or couple over for one or two of those meals. Nothing heavy or super pre-planned. Do life and “be the good news”.
- Play on mission. Whatever you like doing as a couple or with friends, can at times, be done with others that God has called into discipling relationships in your life. And what are the things that you do as a family for fun? Try picking at least one fun activity each month that you let your kids invite their friends to join you in.
- Chores as training time. Things like yard work, cleaning the garage, shopping and small projects around the house all make excellent training time with others. I have often invited “spiritual apprentices” to help me as I’ve weeded the garden, raked, painted a room etc. as we talked for hours. I watched their work and attitude as I watched over their hearts.
If you are serious about making disciples and living one integrated life then the next best time to stop trying to separate or segregate those activities is now. Try it out. You’ll be surprised how quickly others will jump at the chance to do normal life with you as you disciple them. Pretty cool huh?
Get my free Start-up Guide: Leading Your Family & Community on Mission – 7 Proven Steps You Can Begin Immediately
Question: What are some of the ways you have integrated your family life and missional life? Please leave me your answers down in the comments below. Share this with a friend or someone else you know who could use some encouragement today! 🙂
