I get a lot of questions from many of my readers and those I train and coach, so today I thought I would answer a couple of those questions in a segment that I will call, “Ask Caesar”. Pretty original, right? 🙂 I hope you like this and find it helpful.
Let’s give this a spin…I’ve got a couple of great questions here that are actually somewhat related. And they are both really important!
Maintaining Balance in Relationships
Emily says, “I struggle to balance maintaining my current relationships and cultivating new ones for the sake of discipleship and mission. What do you suggest I do?”
So part of my answer Emily is a question:
“Who do you truly believe you are called to disciple and can you do that in every area of life together?
Many of our existing relationships at work or from college or even some of our own family members are such that we cannot really “do life” together…we don’t live near enough to one another, we don’t really cross paths in normal, everyday life.
So while we want to be a good witness to them, modeling love, respect, grace and openness (all of that showing what God is truly like) we also know that we are called to Jesus’ mission, which is to make disciples. This will require us to focus an fewer relationships that go deeper, versus being a mile wide and an inch deep relationally with lots of people.
One More Thing..
Often the little selfish parts of our hearts actually prefer this mile wide, inch deep relational base.[clickToTweet tweet=”Often the little selfish parts of our hearts actually prefer a ‘mile wide, inch deep’ relational base.” quote=”Often the little selfish parts of our hearts actually prefer this mile wide, inch deep relational base.”]
It doesn’t require us to actually open up, go deep and let our own redemption (or lack there of) show. True disciples live as an open book to those they are discipling. Having a zillion surface level relationships doesn’t require that.
If you’re struggling with what to do with your current relationships and finding time for new ones, look and see if the ones you have can actually be deep discipleship in community relationships. If so, go for those. If not so much, then trust God to lead you to new relationships that you can do life together in community with.
Dealing With Rejection
Next question, this one comes from Charles,
“What do you do after you have spent lots of time with a person, shared your faith and they still have no interest in spiritual things, the church or Jesus?”
First, I’d say you have to ask yourself if you believe that person is being drawn to faith by God. The Bible teaches that God grants faith that leads to repentance and a life with him. So perhaps that person is not yet ready. Or God has someone else in their life at a later time and he has just used you to break up the hard ground or plant or water seeds. Sometimes we never know for sure. That’s okay, that’s God’s business and timing.But one thing you should for sure do after a friend has made it pretty clear they’re not interested in your faith or talking to you about Jesus…
Well, you treat them like a friend.
Wow! Profound, right?
And perhaps this is where your question ties in a little bit to the last question: Not everyone we meet or get to know will be someone that we are going to get to disciple, or not at least fully, but remember, all of life is an opportunity for discipleship in one way or another. We are always in discipleship mode, so if you have modeled to that person grace, patience, generosity, friendship etc. then you have shown them what Jesus is all about. You have helped them, maybe just a little, move from thinking God and Christianity is all about going to church, money, sin management or whatever, to showing them that it is about relationship and grace.
And if you continue to be that person’s friend, even if they are not interested in discussing issues of faith and/or the Bible, then you are continuing to show them the heart of our heavenly Father who pursues and pursues us patiently even when we run from him, or are not interested or when we believed we were better at ruling our lives than he is.
So the short answer to what do you do after you have spent lots of time with a person and they still have no interest in spiritual things is: just be their friend. Serve them, love them, and… know that you have others that God has for you to pour your full life more deeply into as you disciple them from unbelief to belief and move toward maturity in Christ. The next best time to get started with all of that is now.
What Questions Do You Have?
If this has been helpful would you share it with others? And let me know this was not a waste of your time and you’d like me to do more of these posts where I answer your questions. Be sure to leave me any questions you want me to answer in the comments below or on Facebook.
